1. First I cut in line.
We woke up this morning in a hotel somewhere outside of Nebraska City. I didn't figure I'd run into anyone I knew at the continental breakfast, so Nora and I walked down in our bare feet and pajamas. I won't even mention my hair. Naturally the room was packed with people wearing shoes, street clothes, and, you know, they looked good. I looked up only long enough to identify where the food was, looked down at the floor and began walking, Nora holding my hand and still sucking on her pacifier. I piled a few muffins on a styrofoam plate and cut in front of a nice lady who was trying to put some milk in her coffee. She said something like, "Well, that sure is interesting." I honestly didn't realize she was waiting on the milk. I don't usually do that kind of thing.
2. Then Nora stole Grandpa's headphones.
We met up with Mom at the historic barns near the Lied Center where she had set up her pottery booth. Grandpa wanted to catch the game, so he purchased these space age headphones. Nora, for obvious reasons, wanted to try them out.
3. Nora then bought and broke a duck on a dowel.
She handled it pretty well, I thought. I mean, I'd want to cry too if I broke something I just bought and really liked. For example, don't you hate it when you break your cell phone? I do. Here she is before the accident. I don't know what kind of parade she's leading here, but sign me up.
4. For lunch, Nora had a hot dog until it dropped on the floor.
5. By this time Nora was ready to call it a day, but it was only about 1 PM, so we loaded Mom with about 70 pounds of our things, I carried Nora (who by this point had completely given up and couldn't even find the will to walk), and we hiked the 10 minute trek to the hotel. Ah. A room at the Inn. Nora played video games, and I watched the football game. I think I forgot to mention that Nora and I are both sick with colds, so this was a particularly lovely haven for the two of us. I'd like you to make a mental note of the beam in this picture.
We head to the restaurant here in the hotel. The food was amazing, a buffet with steak and shrimp and mountains of cheese and apple pie. Nora picked her own food: about 1/2 cup of whipped butter, two rolls, a pile of shredded cheese and a couple shrimp she picked up out of a scientific curiosity rather than a culinary one. She finished the night off with some kind of chocolate mousse cake. We're on vacation, I thought. Why not?
"Mom, my tummy hurts." And by then it was too late.
8. The beam.
So, we call for clean sheets and while Mom and I are making the bed, I conk my head on this guy:
I mean, come one. You call this a ceiling? That's not a ceiling. A ceiling is tall and you can't hit your head on it.
I'm expecting Chevy Chase to show up any minute now.