Farm Safety Day Revisted

There's just something kind of funny about a couple of shy FFA students talking about chainsaw safety with a group of preschoolers.  "So, when you use the chainsaw, you want to be sure to wear eye protection, and be sure to watch out for kick-back."  Kick back?  You'll be lucky if one of these 40 pound kids can even pick up a chain saw.  "Are you gonna cut up that watermelon?"  Phew.  They haven't been listening at all.  They just want to see what happens to a watermelon when you take a chainsaw to it.  "Uh, yeah.  This is how easy it would be to cut your leg."  Our fearless, yet shy demonstrator revs the chainsaw and cuts through a watermelon.  Mmm.  Chainsaw watermelon.   The mom chaperones in the group start whispering to each other:  "Do you think that would work on cheese?"  "Pineapple?"  He continues, "So, be sure to be careful when you are using a chainsaw."  Finally, the kindergarten teacher there has to say something:  "But you will never, ever use a chainsaw until you are grown up, right kids?"

At the hand-washing presentation, the kids are asked to yell out "Germs!  Germs!  Germs!" whenever the protagonist of the cautionary tale forgets to wash his hands.  They ask for questions at the end, a polite gesture that ends in about 5 kids confessing that they went to the bathroom once and didn't wash their hands.  "Umm....once.................................................I went to the bathroom and.............................I didn't wash my hands."  Another hand shoots up.  "Is this a story or a question, Jake?"  "Umm.............once..........did you ever....................once I touched a germ.................and....................."

At the tractor and bobcat safety presentation, Nora asks her own "question."  "If my mom was driving in the tractor, I would just run away."  The presenter agrees, "Yeah, you should just run away.  That's right."

The kids take turns climbing into tractors and combines and honking the horns.  Later, when asked how the farm safety day went, 7 out of 10 kids will simply say, "BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!"

Nora has her Jr. Trooper police officer badge tattoo on her arm.  Tonight in her bath she asked if she could keep it forever.  "Sure, Nora, as long as you never take a bath."  "Okay."

Nora drifts off to sleep...."Mom, you'll never get drowned in corn, right?"  "That's right, Nora.  Good night, sweetheart."