Never the Same Today

1.  A morning spent singing with my Star Belle gals at the local coffee shop.  Kids running wild (and they hadn't even had any coffee) and that wild is inspiring, and I watch my bandmates negotiate between lyrics and warnings about hot chocolate being hot and see their tiny mouths moving along with the songs and know these mamas play in the kitchen while their children are playing, too, and this is a good life with so much singing and cooking and wild loving of these wild, wild creatures.

2.  And speaking of wild creatures, we drove to Grand Island again today and brought home a girl this time:  Tweety Sweety.  She sings.  Nora isn't ready to train her yet, her eyes brimming when she talks of too much love.  And, what do you know?  I just "happened" to check out a book from the library about a hamster who wants to tell her parents how much she loves them, but she's afraid of the power of those words, so she stuffs them down all day long until she becomes sulky and angry.  And finally she shouts, "I LOVE YOU!" and the world stops, so it can be filled back up again with the words that can't be caged.  Nora and I talk for almost two hours about love and God and why loving hurts sometimes, of how everything that passes into our lives was hand-picked for us by God, a gift, even the ones that can only stay a few days.

3.  And then the conversation turns to creation and evolution, and I begin to explain the different takes on the situation.  "Some people believe we were created 'as is' by God and others believe that God created life forms that can and have evolved over time."  She thinks for a minute.  "Well, a chicken starts out as an egg and then turns into a tiny chick and then grows into a chicken, so I think things evolve over time."  And I think we are always changing, too.  From what I can tell from the world God created, everything was made to grow and change, multiply and flower.   And I don't know the how of it at all.  I can only wonder and watch and give thanks for the things I love but don't understand.

4.  "Will you make me laugh some more, Mom?"  When her eyes had filled and she talked of her heart rising inside her, how it was too big, I told her about how I went to the hospital with a heart I could carry in a small purse, and when I left with her in my arms, they had to give me a wagon to carry my heart out because it had grown so much the first time I saw her.  "Do you still have the wagon?"  We giggle at the thought of it.  I tell her about hearts, about the kind that shrink down to something so small, you only need a thimble to carry it with you.  And others have hearts that have grown to such sizes, they need wagons.  "Our hearts are like steering wheels, Nora.  You need to be able to hear what God is telling you there.  Don't be afraid of big feelings.  That's how God made you, and He will whisper to you there."